Three's Company Two
by Saemus McNally
Summary: What happens when Plate-chan makes fun of something? Lilly has to make fun of it more. Poor Sano.


Three's Company Two.  
  


*use your imagination as to the pictures*  
"Ahhh Saitou aahh yes right there AAAHHH!!!! nnnnn tsu haaa haaaaa nnnnn"  
*nuffnuffnuffnuff**squeeb**pantpant*  
~Sano~  
A few weeks or so later from this fun and happy night Sano is feeling absolutely horrible. He's thrown up three times this morning. He hasn't been home since he can barely move save for those surges of energy that get him to run to the puke bucket. Saitou insisted that he didn't leave his apartment. Sano was kinda shocked. Seemed like Saitou cared. But then it could have been he didn't want Sano showing off the bite mark on his nipple that had stayed there for quite a while.Sure it was fading but who else but Wolfman would bite Sano so hard and viciously? And in such a state of passion. Woohoo. At any rate. Yes Sano is sick. And lately he hasn't been feeling well at all. He's also getting really moody. He cried yesterday. Yeah thats right. He cried. What for? Because he saw a kitten with a bow around its neck. He cried because he wanted a kitten. He liked kitties. Especially lately since Saitou would sometimes call him over with a "heeere kitty kitty kitty" instead of "Chickenboy". Sano had one more spit after his latest vomit and then went back to sleep on the futon.   
~Saitou~  
He couldn't have been more absent minded this day. What with his little "neko-chan" all sorts of sick. He had misspelled three felons names today. He kept misplacing forms and papers. He sent different officers to the wrong locations which inevitable caused havoc which THAT had to be fixed. He'd gone through almost his entire pack of ciggies in ONE hour. This was shaping up to be a bad day. He couldn't wait till he could go home so his little rooster could greet him with a nice erm...*ahem*....greeting.  
~Sano~   
Sano had finally gotten over the pukes and decided he should do something for Saitou. Like...lie sexually on the futon waiting for him. But as he waited for a few minutes he realized he was STARVING! And had the weirdest urge for strawberries and miso. So he headed out of the apartment knowing damn well Saitou didn't want him to leave. What with the whole bite mark thing. But Sano can sometimes be quite clever. He wraped his bandages around the sinister nipple hiding it completely. Grabbed a few coins from Saitou's little collection on a desk. Oh sure. Saitou wouldn't mind. Well, that is, he wouldn't mind if Sano could distract him with his awesome sexiness. So out the door Sano went. To the market to get some fiddles. When Sano got there he was so happy. He broke into tears again. Why the hell was Sano crying? He tried to stop crying when a cute young girl ran up to him and asked "Mister mister! Why are you crying? Are you hurt here?" and she touched his chest as she spoke. When Sano felt that warm little hand graze his chest he could only cry harder and gave the girl a big warm hug. "Ojou-chan! You bring me such joy just by being so happy!" Well needless to say the girl was quite shocked. She offered to take Sano out to lunch. Unfortunately for her Sano wolfed*nononotsaitou* down the most food she'd ever seen. Leaving cute little Ojou-chan with quite a bill. When Sano was filled as he had ever been he was feeling MOST tired. So he headed back home. Evening was starting to approach and Sano thought it was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. So he started crying again. He cried all the way home , kinda like that piggie. When he got home he collapsed on the futon and slept until Saitou got home.  
~Saitou~  
Saitou was SOOOOO glad to be off duty. He bought a new pack of cigarettes before he stopped home. While he was out he stopped at his favorite place to get Soba. While eating he wondered what he loved more. A quickie at lunch with Sano or a quickie at lunch with a nice bowl of soba. He settled for the fact that since both of them fed different parts of his um...hunger they were masters of their own domain. When Saitou got home he found Sano asleep. Saitou was hungry like the wolf and pounced Sano. Startled as all hell Sano woke up and saw that older man leaning over him with those gold eyes peircing right through him. Sano began to cry again. "THATS ALL YOU WANT ME FOR ISNT IT!" and he pulled the blanket over his face and cried and cried. Well Saitou wasn't just confused he was agitated. He was all ready for lovin's and now he had just been yelled at. This wasn't like Sano at all. Usually Saitou didn't have a chance to get through the door. Which led to some play on the front porch which led to some disturbed angry neighbors. But thats another story all in itself. Saitou figured he might as well figure out what was wrong with chickenboy so he could get down to some serious looove makin. "Neko-chan what's wrong?" he cooed as he rubbed Sano's shoulders under the blanket. "*sniff*I feel sick again...."Sano snivvled. Saitou was all to frustrated. Sano had been sick longer than the usual hangover or bad sushi. So maybe in a way to get Sano back to health so they could get back to screwing like rabbits Saitou popped this question"Why not go to a doctor then" Sano"I dont wannaaaaaaa WAAAAHHHHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Sano's crying was getting louder. Saitou"You've acted so very weird for weeks now and all the while you've been vomity. So you're going to Megumi and thats the end of that. I dont want my little kitty sick." Sano stared at Saitou with his eyes so full of water he could have watered a plant for a week. Suddenly Sano flung his arms around Saitou and cried" WAAAAAAH I LOVE HAJIMEEEEEE WAAAAAH" And instead of doing it the way Saitou WANTED to he had to spend the rest of the night calming Sano down from all his tears.  
~The Next Day~  
Megumi had been in the room with Sano for a while. Saitou was kinda lingering outside the room in disguise. He was dressed as an old beggerman. Haunched over with a walking cane and a tattered robe thrown around his shoulders and a big straw hat on. He had been waiting for about an hour while Megumi was inspecting Sano. Finally she called Saitou into the room"Yamaguchi-san please come in here" And Saitou hobbled over to the room with shakingness of any really old man. Once inside the room he took off the robe and hat and stood up correctly. Megumi had an odd grin on her face. Something was up and it wasnt him or his "gatotsu". Sano was sitting on a futon staring off into oblivion. Megumi planted herself in front of the former Shinsengumi leader and grinned a cheesey grin. "Congratulations. You knocked up Roosterhead."  
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT!?!" and with quite a thud Saitou passed out on the floor.  
The End  
  
Okay Now for an explination. Don't even bother with the scientific probability of this fic. It's intended to make fun of some other fics that go something along these lines. Girl and Guy fuck like rabbits. Girl gets sick. Guy gets worried. Guy and Girl go to doctor. Doctor tells that girl is pregnant. SHOCKED! I thought this was the funniest thing in the world when Plate-chan told me that she noticed this happening too much. So what could I do? I HAD to write this fic. I mean its not like I bastardize Sano and Saitou enough. 


End file.
